big-head (fetching Jackie Kennedy effect)

clever one (as in, "A clever one would come sit in my subway car so I could look at him.")

critter (under five feet five, heavily bearded, usually balding; as in, "Now there's a cute little critter.")

cute crow

Fuck me with my shoes on (a desire for the instantaneous/all-consuming)

Fuck me in my pink high heels (urgently exaggerates through opposition the object's pulsing, just-glimpsed, handsome masculinity)

Fuck me with a golden spoon (origin obscure; though it might seem to apply to the object's apparent wealth or privilege -- as in "born with a silver spoon in his mouth" -- perhaps the reference is more concerned with a) a wealth of pleasure (cf. "royally laid"); and b) babyhood, newness, orality -- suggested by "born" and "mouth")

gorilla-hands (large, hairy)

handsome duck

handsome monkey

Ho, D'Artagnan! (swashbuckling goatee; often seen on the L train)

hunk, muscle boy, stud, etc. (stock terms)

I am for you, James T. Kirk (Lee Meriwether, a robot in harem pants, was created solely to destroy the captain of the Enterprise; to do so, she needed -- wanted -- only to touch him with her outstretched hand)

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done (man in uniform)

puffin-head (smirks at me)

puppet-face (a certain smoothness, a certain simplicity of line; the archetype: a particular boy with big black plastic glasses in my neighborhood; haven't seen him lately)

royally laid (usually in reference to no particular person; as in, "I want to get royally laid," repeated over and over when depressed)

square-head (often Polish, usually seen from behind, also on the L)

strapping lad, doughty knight (possessing a certain old-fashioned allure)

tasty treat (as in, "That looks like a tasty treat," or, "I could really use a tasty treat like that.")

your, possessive of you (a litany of the cruisy day; as in "your gorilla hands," "your big glasses," "your square head," "your boulder shoulders," "your swashbuckling goatee," "your puppet face," "your handsome duck lips," "your crow's nose," "your critter-y butt," "your clever choice of a seat right across from mine," "your white, hunky arms," "your monkey eyes," "your -- -- -- " )

A language spoken only to myself, therefore no one else need learn it. It's already known. Its uses are obscure. Its utterance leads not to particular excitation, but to a kind of stasis -- small manipulations like a Gameboy in the hand, limited and minimal. I glance from one object to the next. Each seen, each noted: as if I could make a clever comment to each one, as if the parts made a whole, as if this were a life, a world (and it is), as if I could have them all.